Help with Spanish/English translation?

Okay, in my Spanish 1 class, we have to make a commercial in which we we will talk for a minute in spanish about some sort of product we are trying to sell. We have to have a product and blah blah blah. My teacher said that, instead of filming ourselves, we could make a cartoon. I'm using the anime "Death Note", and the product is going to be a Death Note (A notebook that, when you write their names, kills people).



This is the script in Spanish (I didn't know 95% of the words, so I had to use dictionaries and translators) does it make sense? :



(Words in parenthesis are words I didn't know/wasn't sure how to translate)



?Ha tenido alguna vez una persona que tú no puede tolerar? ?Ahora tú puede “eliminar” ellos con tu suyo "Death Note"! ? (It) Viene completo con su suyo Shinigami y libro de reglas!



?Son tú siendo intimidado? ?Utilice tú "Death Note"!



?Es el borracho en la fiesta molestas tú? ?Utilice tú "Death Note"!



?Con tu "Death Note", tú puede liberar al mundo de estas molestias y hacer del mundo un lugar mejor!



Es fácil de usar, simplemente escribes el nombre de la persona mientras se imagina (their) cara y la persona tendrá un (heart attack), o puede especificar: ?Cómo? ?Cuándo? Y / o ?Dónde? ?Así que ser creativo!





?Atención!

Nuestro producto, cuando es utilizado correctamente, hará que otros seres humanos a morir. Nosotros no ofrecen una protección de "L", el detective famoso, o cualquier otra forma de hacer cumplir la ley. ?Tú tendrá muchas responsabilidades con la "Death Note", a fin de utilizar a su propio riesgo! Hay una alta posibilidad de que tu "Death Note" será la causa de tu suyo muerte.





?Ser un dios con tu “Death Note”!





Compare with the English version:



Have you ever had a person who you can not tolerate? Now you can "eliminate" them with your own "Death Note"! (It) Comes complete with its own rulebook and Shinigami!



Are you being bullied? Use the "Death Note"!



Is it the drunk at the party annoying you? Use the "Death Note"!



With your "Death Note", you can rid the world of these problems and make the world a better place!



It is easy to use, just write the name of the person while imagining (Their) face and the person shall have a (heart attack), or you can specify: How? When? And / or Where? So be creative!





Attention!

Our product, when used correctly, will cause other humans to die. We offer no protection from "L", the famous detective, or any other form of law enforcement. You will have many responsibilities with the "Death Note ", so use at your own risk! There is a high possibility that your "Death Note" will cause your own death.





Being a god with your "Death Note"!





tl;dr right? :p



I would like a native speaker to help, but anyone with an understanding of the Spanish language is fine.



Am I using words right? Which verbs have to be conjugated? Does it even make sense? Accents?



Do NOT use an online translating tool...If I wanted my script to make even LESS sense, I could do that myself...



Thank You! / ?Gracias!Help with Spanish/English translation?
Hi Laina,
Let's do this!

?Alguna vez tubiste que enfrentarte con una persona que no puedes tolerar? ?Ahora puedes “eliminarlos” con tu propia "Death Note"! ? Viene completo el libro, junto con sus reglas y Shinigami!

?Eres constantemente intimidado? ?Utiliza tu "Death Note"!

?Es el briágo en la fiesta quíen te molesta? ?Utiliza tu "Death Note"!

?Con tu "Death Note", tú puedes liberar el mundo de éstas molestias y hacer del mundo un lugar mejor!

Es fácil de usar, simplemente escribes el nombre de la persona, mientras te imaginas su cara, y la persona tendrá un ataque cardiaco, o puedes especificar: ?Cómo? ?Cuándo? y ?Dónde? ?Así, ay que ser creativo!


?Atención!
Nuestro producto, cuando es utilizado correctamente, hará que otros séres humanos podría causarles la muerte. Nosotros no ofrecemos ninguna protección de "L", el detective famoso, tampoco, cualquier otra forma de hacer cumplir la ley. ?Tú tendrás muchas responsabilidades con la "Death Note", utilizala a tu propio riesgo. Hay una gran posibilidad de qúe tu "Death Note" será la causa de tu propia muerte.

* * * * * * * * Podras terminar con el mal con tu "Death Note"!
You could abolish all evil with your "Death Note"!
(that's up to you to reword it as you wish)
Best2uAlways
and GoodLuck
:)