Can someone give me some English Spanish translation help.?

I want to make a Spanish friend (girl) laugh so want some spanish lines so that I can read them out to her over dinner in a Spanish restaurant where people will eavesdrop. She knows I'm useless at the language so be fun to suprise her!





Suggestions please!|||C谩maron que se duerme se lo lleva la chingada|||The shrimp that falls asleep gets carried away by the f*cker

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|||you can say to her:





"Antes no quise sorprenderte con lo avanzado de mi espa帽ol, pero como puedes ver domino esa lengua a la perfecci贸n". Adem谩s hablo 178 idiomas y 79 dialectos.|||Yo quiero uno sopa de gato, perro, mono, y muchos animales del zoologico|||Me gustar铆a tocarte.





Chupa mi verga, mi amor.





You'll either get slapped or laughed at.